Things You “Should” Do Everyday: The Deceivingly Simple Trick For Lightening Up on Yourself

For a long time now, I’ve been obsessed with personal improvement. I’ve been a personal trainer, a nutritionist and a self-help book junkie. What I’ve noticed over the years of striving to become a healthier, happier person, is how often professionals will recommend that you do [insert habit here] everyday. You should drink 2.5 L of water everyday, you should take xyz vitamin/supplement everyday, you should meditate everyday, you should exercise everyday, you should eat 9 servings of vegetables everyday, you should write in a gratitude journal everyday, you should walk 10,000 steps everyday, you should floss everyday, overwhelmed yet?

Last year, I read a book about success. It was essentially about living by a set of principles that can help guide your life rather than trying to make decisions in each individual situation based on emotion or whatever else might be influencing you at that time in your life. The one part of that book that had the biggest impact on me was the simple statement that you can spend your day in one of two ways: one is doing things that move you towards a goal, and the other is doing things that don’t move you towards a goal.

At first glance that might seem like a shit ton of pressure. Wow, I can either do the right or the wrong thing with my day. Great. I better be super focused and productive 100% of the time then right? No.

Thats not what I took away from it anyway. The way I see it is as a simple guidepost for whether on not something you’re focusing your time on is actually worth the time your spending on it. I also see all the little things that you give your attention to as drops in a bucket that can add up significantly over time.

For example, if you want to get into better shape, a ten minute walk is better than no walk at all. Every bit always counts.

One other statement that has impacted me greatly over the last year was a quote I heard, and I think it was by Oprah… It said “you can have everything, just not all at once.”

So how does all of this loop back around and determine what you should do everyday?

Well, I think it means that if you zoom out and look at the bigger picture, you can see that life will always naturally ebb and flow. You can accept that you can’t always expect to be able to uphold the exact same routines everyday; especially at a time in your life when your day is at the mercy of a baby or a small child. Ultimately, you can take a bit of pressure off of yourself because a time will come where you’ll have more time to focus on other things.

I believe, that as long as you are asking yourself if the things you ARE spending time on do move you somehow closer to a goal, then you can be assured that you are doing an amazing job, everyday.

If that means you spent your day cleaning up poop and not changing out of your pyjamas because you could barely keep your head above the chaos of motherhood? Good. You did something that contributed to your goal of creating a happy family life, because you spent your day doing exactly what your child needed that day.

Some days might not feel “productive” in the conventional sense of the word, but goals are not always career oriented, or fitness oriented, or about how clean your house is or how put together you appear. A lot of goals in your life are actually about how mentally well you are, how present you can be for the people you love or how accepting you can be of the challenges of day to day life.

I recently learned the difference between our deepest desires and our strongest desires. Our strongest desires are the things that pull us in our day to day, like growing an Instagram following, or keeping our house clean. Where as, our deepest desires are the much larger and more meaningful things we want across our life time like having meaningful work, being there for your family or spending more time on your hobbies that fill your cup.

Often times our strongest desires don’t match up very well with our deepest desires, so its great to check yourself once in a while.

Yes its great to eat healthy everyday, to be organized, to look great, to exercise. But the truth about balance is… that doesn’t mean you have to do them all, everyday. In my books, it means things balance out across the months and the years. Its not always about the days, so take a load off, mama and stop shoulding on yourself.

Share one thing you feel like you “should” be doing everyday in the comments to try and give it a bit less power over you!


Why You Should Give Meditating a Fair Try

I sat on a rock and meditated beside the ocean yesterday.

There’s still a part of me that wants to make fun of myself for even writing that sentence.

For years I tried to meditate always kinda knowing it was good for me but never really feeling “successful” at it so I just kept giving it up. I had this idea that I had to get “good” at it in order for it to be of any use to me.

I also kinda thought I was “trying” to be somebody else when I did it; someone I might enjoy making fun of.

It wasn’t until I made a major mistake in my life that almost cost me a lot of things that I love that I started meditating almost everyday.

I did it because I knew I had to. Not really sure why I had to do specifically that, but I just knew I needed to change something in my brain and I felt like meditating would do at least something good.

So, I started with an app- called Headspace with ten minutes a day. After 30 days of 10 minutes a day I moved up to 15 and that’s usually what I do now, with the odd longer guided meditation thrown in there. Sometimes I find one online that I’d like to do.

CLICK HERE-Femininity guided relaxation

I always kind of thought that meditating was supposed to help you turn off your thoughts. Now I understand that it’s not really about that at all. It’s about understanding that you are not your thoughts. The voice in your head is not the core of your being, and you can learn how to stop taking it so seriously.

Meditation helps you create more space in between your thoughts because it helps you release yourself from the grips of overthinking. It helps you appreciate the depth within yourself and possibly feel some kind of deeper connection to the universe.IMG_0627

I’ve always had the problem of overthinking, I think and think and think and think until I’ve come up with the most ludicrous beliefs and made-up possible situations to the point that it starts to influence my behavior.

I’m a big believer that you are the creator of your own reality and if your thoughts shape your beliefs and your beliefs shape your behavior and your behavior shapes your interactions with people in the world then its your thoughts that really have the greatest influence on your reality.

It’s not about getting good at meditating, and its not about trying to be anybody else, just because you associate meditation with a certain type of person. Meditation is a journey of self-discovery and it’s a very personal one.

It’s much deserved, YOU time. And to be honest, sometimes that 10 minutes, which is pretty easy to squeeze in, can feel like hours. It can be the most savory and delicious time of your day. Not for the actual moments that you take but for the peace it affords you throughout the rest of the day.

And consistency here really does matter because we all have some serious patterns built right down into our hardware. If you don’t consistently work on the relationship you have with your thoughts, it’s pretty easy just to slip back into the default.

This applies in SO many situations. No matter what kind of journey your on, its always easier if you can be kind to yourself on the way. If you can work on quieting the internal peanut gallery, you can stay focused on your goals and the journey you’re on.

A very helpful way to think of meditation in the beginning when you first start practicing (and it does require practice- that’s why they call it that), is just as a relaxation exercise.  We all need more time spent in true relaxation and I’m not talking about numbing and vegging out as relaxation. I mean a focused time spent in stillness with yourself.

That’s why I’ve created this free Femininity Guided Relaxation for you to try out.  I believe that as women, we could benefit from tapping into our feminine power and truthfully stillness is a very YIN or feminine quality.  So, I highly encourage you to download the relaxation and give it a try.

CLICK HERE-Femininity guided relaxation

Come on over to my private Facebook community Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox afterwards and let us know how you felt! In the group I share more guided meditations and other things to help you on your path of healing body, soul & mind for when its time.

I look forward to chatting with you more there!


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