Do You Practice Having Fun?

I wish I could put on Rosen goggles sometimes.

It’s such a shame as we get older how we see so much less winded in he world. The magic is never gone, we just forget how to notice it.

I’ve been doing some digging lately- and the idea of joy keeps coming back to me. Followed by the ideas of fun, laughter, dance, play and creativity. All of these things bring joy into your life- but we deem them to be much less important than so many other tasks in our day to day.

The major issue is, the most meaningful part of our lives are the connections we have with the other people in our lives. And while we’re all so busy focusing on the “important stuff” we’re forgetting to take into consideration that the most memorable, heart touching moments we share with those we love can only come when we make the space for the fun, laughter, dance, play and creativity. You are literally starving yourself and the ones you love of these incredible moments for connection by ignoring these things.

But the thing is… if we’re not used to being care free in the way children are- we might freeze up even if we do get the opportunity to play or to dance. Today I was thinking about how much I used to dance and how now when I try I feel stuff and awkward.

And I think we feel stiff and awkward when it comes to all of these things because they require practice. The word practice keeps coming up for me lately. Yoga practice, mediation practice etc. It’s not like you do them because you’re already good at them- you have a practice evause you are doing literally that, practicing. The same way you would with a musical instrument or a sport. You have to PRACTICE play, practice laughter, practice dance- by putting them into PRACTICE!!

Lol now I know I’m putting a lot of stress on that word. But the only way to practice something is to make the space and time for it.

Have you ever tried to fake laugh and it ends up making you laugh for real?? Try it. It’s a really good way to get yourself going.

If you have nothing to do for a moment, stop looking around for a task to complete. Put on some music and start doing a stupid dance. Again, it might make you feel really dumb at first, but as you start moving you’re going to loosen up and start feeling the groove.

Creativity is also not something that only some of us are gifted with- it’s something we have to cultivate in the exact same way. Those of who rn corporate creativity into our days are the ones who amplify it within ourselves.

I’ve been watching RuPaul’s Drag Race lately and I’ve been in awe of the creativity those Queens put into their entire performance. I thought back to yesterday when I pulled together a random Halloween costume out of a bin of things and suddenly became a Chuck Cavewoman with a pink wig and with glamorous shimmering pink eyelids, and I was amazed at how much fun it was.

Now what if we didn’t wait for Halloween for the excuse to let our creative juices flow? What if we practiced dance, laughter, play, fun and creativity daily? Even if it were just for five minutes?

I don’t know about you- but I’m feeling lighter just thinking about it.

Wouldn’t it be nice to get a little bit of our kid goggles back?

Comment below with the last time you felt carefree and had fun like the good old days 😁

Follow:

Things You “Should” Do Everyday: The Deceivingly Simple Trick For Lightening Up on Yourself

For a long time now, I’ve been obsessed with personal improvement. I’ve been a personal trainer, a nutritionist and a self-help book junkie. What I’ve noticed over the years of striving to become a healthier, happier person, is how often professionals will recommend that you do [insert habit here] everyday. You should drink 2.5 L of water everyday, you should take xyz vitamin/supplement everyday, you should meditate everyday, you should exercise everyday, you should eat 9 servings of vegetables everyday, you should write in a gratitude journal everyday, you should walk 10,000 steps everyday, you should floss everyday, overwhelmed yet?

Last year, I read a book about success. It was essentially about living by a set of principles that can help guide your life rather than trying to make decisions in each individual situation based on emotion or whatever else might be influencing you at that time in your life. The one part of that book that had the biggest impact on me was the simple statement that you can spend your day in one of two ways: one is doing things that move you towards a goal, and the other is doing things that don’t move you towards a goal.

At first glance that might seem like a shit ton of pressure. Wow, I can either do the right or the wrong thing with my day. Great. I better be super focused and productive 100% of the time then right? No.

Thats not what I took away from it anyway. The way I see it is as a simple guidepost for whether on not something you’re focusing your time on is actually worth the time your spending on it. I also see all the little things that you give your attention to as drops in a bucket that can add up significantly over time.

For example, if you want to get into better shape, a ten minute walk is better than no walk at all. Every bit always counts.

One other statement that has impacted me greatly over the last year was a quote I heard, and I think it was by Oprah… It said “you can have everything, just not all at once.”

So how does all of this loop back around and determine what you should do everyday?

Well, I think it means that if you zoom out and look at the bigger picture, you can see that life will always naturally ebb and flow. You can accept that you can’t always expect to be able to uphold the exact same routines everyday; especially at a time in your life when your day is at the mercy of a baby or a small child. Ultimately, you can take a bit of pressure off of yourself because a time will come where you’ll have more time to focus on other things.

I believe, that as long as you are asking yourself if the things you ARE spending time on do move you somehow closer to a goal, then you can be assured that you are doing an amazing job, everyday.

If that means you spent your day cleaning up poop and not changing out of your pyjamas because you could barely keep your head above the chaos of motherhood? Good. You did something that contributed to your goal of creating a happy family life, because you spent your day doing exactly what your child needed that day.

Some days might not feel “productive” in the conventional sense of the word, but goals are not always career oriented, or fitness oriented, or about how clean your house is or how put together you appear. A lot of goals in your life are actually about how mentally well you are, how present you can be for the people you love or how accepting you can be of the challenges of day to day life.

I recently learned the difference between our deepest desires and our strongest desires. Our strongest desires are the things that pull us in our day to day, like growing an Instagram following, or keeping our house clean. Where as, our deepest desires are the much larger and more meaningful things we want across our life time like having meaningful work, being there for your family or spending more time on your hobbies that fill your cup.

Often times our strongest desires don’t match up very well with our deepest desires, so its great to check yourself once in a while.

Yes its great to eat healthy everyday, to be organized, to look great, to exercise. But the truth about balance is… that doesn’t mean you have to do them all, everyday. In my books, it means things balance out across the months and the years. Its not always about the days, so take a load off, mama and stop shoulding on yourself.

Share one thing you feel like you “should” be doing everyday in the comments to try and give it a bit less power over you!

Follow:

Being Secretly Pregnant – What the first trimester is really like

Being Secretly Pregnant

I am so excited to finally share this with all of you! It’s official; I can shout it from the condo-tops- I am with child! I have been for over 15 weeks but it’s been a big secret. It’s also been the strangest secret I’ve ever had to keep. Everyone kind of knows that when you get pregnant there are some things that happen to you. Maybe you’ve read some stuff, but I want to tell you right now, nothing will properly prepare you for the first 3 months of creating a human, especially when it’s all top secret.

If you’ve followed me for a little while, you’d know that I know a fair amount about pregnancy and about babies. I am a Preconception Nutritional Therapist and a Doula. That means I’ve spent a lot of time reading about pregnancy symptoms and how to prepare your body for a healthy pregnancy. I had a pretty good idea what I was getting myself into when my husband and I made the decision to have a baby. However, in all my reading I never stumbled upon any articles or blogs that described any of the psychological phenomenon that I’ve been experiencing.

If you want to check out how I prepared myself for pregnancy, you can grab a free copy of my 8 Step Fertility Checklist Here:

CLICK HERE

It has been truly incredible and almost indescribable, but I’m going to do my best to tell you what the first trimester has been in comparison to what I was expecting.

The moment I knew I was pregnant **which was through a dream I had in which I felt a zap that meant I was definitely pregnant** I went completely inward. Maybe you noticed that I virtually disappeared off of social media and stopped sending out anything new. There was something that happened inside of me that redirected all of my creative energy towards this little baby I am making. It left absolutely nothing for me to put out into the world for my followers- and I was and still am completely okay with that. For the first time ever, I felt no obligation whatsoever to create anything, because I knew I was creating something WAY more important than any YouTube video or Instagram post could ever offer.

I have really come to believe that the first trimester isn’t talked about enoughIn 12 weeks you are basically creating an entire human and you grow an entirely new organ (the placenta). After 12 week, the goal of your little fetus is to mature all of its new systems and grow bigger, but all the most formative work is already done. When we imagine the difficult part of pregnancy we automatically think about the last couple months when ladies have a big old belly and their feet hurt etc. While that is definitely also a trying portion of creating a human, there is SO much going on in the first trimester too that you don’t ever hear about.

Let me tell you a bit about it. I’ll start with morning sickness because that’s what most of us imagine when we think about the beginning of a pregnancy. Morning sickness is this strange feeling that can best be described as nausea, and some women actually do get sick and throw up.  Luckily, I did not ever actually get to that point, I was definitely very nauseous but that wasn’t it. It’s not really just nausea; it’s this feeling of being taken over by some alien force. I honesty felt like a zombie for quite awhile. Some days I wasn’t exactly nauseous, but I was simply repulsed by everything. Everything was more overwhelming that it should have been. It was as though my senses were turned up to level 10, and it was a lot to handle.

It’s totally true about smells as well, you can smell everything and it’s not pleasant. I could smell the Tabasco on my husband’s pork chop from across the room and his cologne suddenly grossed me out too. I stopped posting on Instagram because I couldn’t handle cooking and I definitely had nothing that I felt was “post-worthy” in my diet. I will share more with you about my nutrition during my first trimester later on.

The fatigue is also so real. I think this part really surprised me. I was nearly knocked off my feet and it makes perfect sense, but no one really tells you. It takes a hell of a lot of energy to make a new human! It can be compared to running a marathon, literally. They say your body is expending more energy at rest than it would be if you were running a marathon.

Okay, so I’m supposed to be feeling like a zombie and barely keeping my eyes open and you mean I’m not supposed to tell anyone what’s going on with me AND I’m likely expected to keep up the same amount of productivity in my day to day life? HA.

I feel for you ladies who work in offices and in situations where you have a lot of coworkers you need to be around on a day-to-day basis. I feel incredibly lucky that I could hide out at home or around other ladies who just had babies for the majority of this trimester and that I had the ability to tell the people that mattered what was going on with me.

The nausea and fatigue were probably almost the heaviest hitters, and I’m still on the physical stuff! I was also super surprised by how breathless I became. About a week after becoming pregnant, I noticed that after walking up a hill I felt like I had just done 20 minutes of cardio in the gym. I was huffing and puffing and I couldn’t believe it! I thought that only happened later when you get tired from carrying around all that extra weight. But no! Your body starts to produce a ton of extra blood and your hemoglobin doesn’t catch up quickly enough. Therefore it’s harder for your body to re-oxygenate; hence, breathlessness. Walking up stairs is TOUGH hahaha and I am a pretty fit girl!

Another big surprise was the having to pee constantly. I was under the impression that only happened when your baby got big enough to squish your bladder. However in the first trimester, your body produces a ton of progesterone and that causes your kidneys to become highly active which sends you running to the bathroom constantly. Most nights I have to get up 2-3 times to relieve myself. I think this is Mother Nature’s way of sleep training YOU right from the beginning!

A few other things that happened that also surprised me were just how big my boobs got and how quickly that happened (I think it was about a cup size in a week), how dizzy I can get, and my lack of interest in any meat (even chicken).

So, while all of this physical stuff is going on you also have this huge task of absorbing the fact that YOU HAVE A HUMAN IN YOU! That’s kind of a big deal. It’s sort of a huge thing to process.  

Okay so you pee on a stick, and you get the two lines and it’s like okay, I’m pretty sure that means I’m pregnant. Then you go get blood work done and it comes back positive (we did it twice to make sure the hormone levels were doubling as they should be) and then you’re like okay well that means I’m definitely pregnant. Then we went and had an internal ultrasound done because we had the help of some reproductive technology in our conception, and that also confirmed the pregnancy. So now, we’re at more than triple confirmation that it’s really true. But let me ask you this- if someone told you everyday that you had a human growing inside of you, how many days would it take before you really truly believed it?

I know, you have all these symptoms to corroborate the pregnancy, but do you really tie it all together and believe it? Does it sink in and do you digest it, process it and assimilate it? Maybe some people do, but this was a lot for me. I don’t even think I really still believe it! And let me tell you, I’ve wanted to be pregnant for a long time. I’m one of those women who always wanted to be a mother. Ever since I was a little girl that was one of the top things on my life’s to-do list. But still, it’s really mind blowing to look down at your belly and imagine the whole world of activity just beneath a few layers of tissue.

I would say it wasn’t until we had our 12 week ultrasound and we saw that little boo kicking around and sucking on it’s perfect little hand that I really believed there was a real little soul in there. I’m still astounded when I look at my belly and I’m really not even showing yet.

So there’s the processing of the fact that you are doing what you are doing, and then there’s this whole other layer of thought- I am becoming a mom. Woah. Boom. Explosions. Life changing. Self-perception changing. Society’s views of me changing. Waaaaaaa. Woah.

Yes.

I was walking through the mall the other day and looking at all the models in the store windows thinking, these women are not moms. Even if the models are moms themselves, these women are not what the media portrays as moms. Then I had this feeling like none of this was meant for me anymore. None of this super-cool, sexy, stylish stuff was for me anymore. I’m a mom now.

Now don’t get me wrong here, I don’t think a mom can’t be sexy, cool, stylish etc. It’s just that, that’s not really what is being projected by the majority of what we are exposed to in movies, magazines etc. If you are a mom who is those things you are either put on a pedestal because you are going “against the grain” and other women want to as well but it’s too much to juggle OR you are a mom who is those things and you are bashed and torn down from every possible angle because it must mean you’re a bad mom.

Yikes. I’m about to enter those waters. I’m about to enter that space where nothing you do can possibly be right. Where you constantly battle your conscience, the messages that are pouring in from all sides and the desire to be true to yourself.

There is a HUGE mental battle in the mom-space to be the best mom possible but maintain a sense-of self. I feel like that might be the biggest fear of all moms, especially moms who decide to stay home with their children. Society does not appreciate the magnificence of being a mother, and the incredible importance of that job. It tells us the only way we can be valuable in this world is to have accomplishments that come with a dollar value.  We feel that in order to be important we must use our brains, be the cleverest, be the smartest and to play on the same playing field as men. Society is encouraging us to be lovelier versions of men, but when we become moms we do more than double that.

It’s like we have to prove our womanhood all over again when we become moms and that is a really strange feeling to have and I’m not even IN IT yet.

I feel like I’m about to join a club where all the support that I need is from other moms, and yet there is this under-tone of constant disapproval within that very group. It’s kind of scary!

I know most women say that they think it’s awesome for women to have the choice to stay at home with their kids. I also think that secretly, deep down they would never make that choice because they wouldn’t feel valued by society. It’s just deeply engrained in us that mom-work is not “real-work”. In my opinion, our society’s biggest problems have come alongside the downfall of the family unit. And who is that has historically been the person who glues a family together? Mom.

I’m not entirely sure how we can change these perceptions, but I think a lot of it comes back to the devaluing of femininity and feminine energy. I think femininity is completely misunderstood and often linked with weakness whether consciously or subconsciously. I know for a long time I thought I had to be more a like a guy in many ways to be a better woman but I’m currently doing the work to reprogram myself.

Part of my journey is to dive into and honor my feminine energy and respect the power that is inherent within that. I feel like the world needs more women to ditch the masculine pissing contest and figure out how to really support other women and especially other mothers.

*As a side note, men can have a dominant feminine energy as well. Men can also stay home with the children. Both should be equally accepted. My point is here is mainly about women, their sense of self and how motherhood is viewed by the majority.*

I don’t know how this is all going to play out in my life but it just seems to be another hugely scary part of pregnancy- all of the unknowns (probably just a small intro to the crazy uncertainty of parenthood). What I do know is I’m ready for this. I’m ready for the surprises and the challenges. I’m ready to share all I learn along the way- and hopefully to become a part of a movement to reclaim the respect that motherhood deserves.

xo Milli

Ps. If you are in the process of trying to get pregnant, if you are considering it within the next year or two, or you’re already pregnant- I want to meet YOU! Come and join me and a group of supportive women in my private Facebook community Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox.  Click the title of the group to come join!

Follow:

How You Feed Yourself Shows A Lot About How You Feel About Yourself {Video}

How You Feed YourselfShows HowYou FeelAbout Yourself
We’re all trying to better ourselves.  We’re trying to improve our diets and exercise more and meditate and do all this amazing stuff.  The most important question that lies at the base of all of these changes is- why?

Why are you doing all of these things, what’s your true motivation?

Are you trying to change because society expects us to constantly be bettering ourselves or are you trying to change because there is something you don’t like about yourself?

These questions matter, because the intention we approach change with will determine our success, and also how we will feel once those changes are implemented.

I want to talk about this because I truly believe that change is only worth it if it comes from a place of self-love.  I noticed this especially when I was a personal trainer.  I had woman after woman coming to be to change because they hated something about their bodies.

I did my best to switch their focus to learning to love their bodies by being inspired by the amazing things their bodies could DO rather than BE.

I can relate to this personally through my own journey with food.  For years I didn’t feed myself well.  In fact I barely fed myself at all and that was because I didn’t consider it a priority.  Looking back I can see it was because I didn’t think I was deserving of nourishment and I just didn’t see myself as a priority.  At the time, I had terrible health; I was weak, too thin, plagued with aches and pains, suffered from terrible digestive health issues as well as acid reflux that I was on prescription acid blockers for.

All of this and I wasn’t even 20 years old.  I truly believed that my body was a dud, and that I was just going to have to live with a broken body for the rest of my life.

It wasn’t until I met my now husband, and really started treating myself with more respect that I began to see that with a little TLC from myself- everything could change.

I know that you want to be as healthy as you can be for your future babies.  I know that you’re doing it with such good intentions, but I really want to ask yourself- are you doing it out of self-love?

CLICK HERE-selflove

What does your relationship with food have to tell you about the relationship you have with yourself? It’s my true belief that this relationship is the most direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves.  Are you depriving yourself of foods you love? Do you feel like a “clean-diet” is a punishment that you somehow “deserve”?

Getting to the bottom of these questions is getting to the root of your habits.  In western medicine, we like to do a lot of slapping bandaids on things and addressing things on a very surface level. That’s why we are in a constant state of management rather than ever finding true healing.

I recorded the video below to talk to you a bit more about my own experiences and get you thinking about your own motivations.

Watch now, then come to Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox and share with me an ah-ha moment you had surrounding food!

I am very big on getting to the root cause of our habits.  I always include this kind of work in my programs and I don’t ever just focus on the food!

If this speaks to you and you know you want to get moving on your journey towards a healthy, glowing pregnancy. I highly encourage you to book a complimentary 20 minute coaching call with me 🙂

All you have to do is click the button below and schedule in a time that’s most convenient for you!

BOOK A CALL-4

Follow:

Why You Should Give Meditating a Fair Try

I sat on a rock and meditated beside the ocean yesterday.

There’s still a part of me that wants to make fun of myself for even writing that sentence.

For years I tried to meditate always kinda knowing it was good for me but never really feeling “successful” at it so I just kept giving it up. I had this idea that I had to get “good” at it in order for it to be of any use to me.

I also kinda thought I was “trying” to be somebody else when I did it; someone I might enjoy making fun of.

It wasn’t until I made a major mistake in my life that almost cost me a lot of things that I love that I started meditating almost everyday.

I did it because I knew I had to. Not really sure why I had to do specifically that, but I just knew I needed to change something in my brain and I felt like meditating would do at least something good.

So, I started with an app- called Headspace with ten minutes a day. After 30 days of 10 minutes a day I moved up to 15 and that’s usually what I do now, with the odd longer guided meditation thrown in there. Sometimes I find one online that I’d like to do.

CLICK HERE-Femininity guided relaxation

I always kind of thought that meditating was supposed to help you turn off your thoughts. Now I understand that it’s not really about that at all. It’s about understanding that you are not your thoughts. The voice in your head is not the core of your being, and you can learn how to stop taking it so seriously.

Meditation helps you create more space in between your thoughts because it helps you release yourself from the grips of overthinking. It helps you appreciate the depth within yourself and possibly feel some kind of deeper connection to the universe.IMG_0627

I’ve always had the problem of overthinking, I think and think and think and think until I’ve come up with the most ludicrous beliefs and made-up possible situations to the point that it starts to influence my behavior.

I’m a big believer that you are the creator of your own reality and if your thoughts shape your beliefs and your beliefs shape your behavior and your behavior shapes your interactions with people in the world then its your thoughts that really have the greatest influence on your reality.

It’s not about getting good at meditating, and its not about trying to be anybody else, just because you associate meditation with a certain type of person. Meditation is a journey of self-discovery and it’s a very personal one.

It’s much deserved, YOU time. And to be honest, sometimes that 10 minutes, which is pretty easy to squeeze in, can feel like hours. It can be the most savory and delicious time of your day. Not for the actual moments that you take but for the peace it affords you throughout the rest of the day.

And consistency here really does matter because we all have some serious patterns built right down into our hardware. If you don’t consistently work on the relationship you have with your thoughts, it’s pretty easy just to slip back into the default.

This applies in SO many situations. No matter what kind of journey your on, its always easier if you can be kind to yourself on the way. If you can work on quieting the internal peanut gallery, you can stay focused on your goals and the journey you’re on.

A very helpful way to think of meditation in the beginning when you first start practicing (and it does require practice- that’s why they call it that), is just as a relaxation exercise.  We all need more time spent in true relaxation and I’m not talking about numbing and vegging out as relaxation. I mean a focused time spent in stillness with yourself.

That’s why I’ve created this free Femininity Guided Relaxation for you to try out.  I believe that as women, we could benefit from tapping into our feminine power and truthfully stillness is a very YIN or feminine quality.  So, I highly encourage you to download the relaxation and give it a try.

CLICK HERE-Femininity guided relaxation

Come on over to my private Facebook community Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox afterwards and let us know how you felt! In the group I share more guided meditations and other things to help you on your path of healing body, soul & mind for when its time.

I look forward to chatting with you more there!

-Milli

If you like the theme of this post and would like to receive more like this, sign-up below to make sure we stay connected 🙂

xo

Subscribe here to get more great stuff like this!

* indicates required



Email Format


Follow: