“When you point a finger at someone, you’ve got three fingers pointing right back at you.”
I couldn’t love this phrase more.
When I was younger, I was on the giving and the receiving end of the word bitch. If a woman was less than friendly to me, or maybe seemed a little standoffish, that was the first diagnosis I’d go to: “Oh, she’s kind of a b***h.”, and the same would get said about me. This even trickled into my professional work with my ring sling business; If an influencer responded to a product offer with an answer different than what I’d hoped for, I tossed it up to bitchiness.
Now I don’t want to make assumptions, but I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this. We womxn can pick up the habit easily of taking one exchange or scenario, and using it to label a person for life.
Now that I’m older, I see that people are nuanced, they are not two dimensional. Most of the time when someone says something to or about you, it’s actually revealing more about themselves. Calling other womxn a bitch (especially in a society that would rather womxn live without opinions or radical independence) can sometimes be a grounded reflection in the way you’ve been treated, but is more than often rooted in one thing: Our own codependency.
This week’s video, “Is She A Bitch? Or Is She Well-Boundaried?” is all about this topic. Let’s get into it ladies, because if we don’t have one another’s backs, we’re in trouble.
I’m not gonna judge you for the things you’ve said in the past girl, that’s not what I do. Instead, I’m gonna throw some validation at you so you can carry it into your perspective of those around you.
- YOU are not a bitch for knowing your worth.
- YOU are not a bitch for staying true to your standards and honoring your boundaries.
- YOU are not a bitch for speaking your thoughts and minds.
- YOU are not a bitch for refusing to cater to the emotional experience of everyone around you.
Society will try and tell you that it’s your job as a womxn to take care of everyone else, and be “nice” at all times. Don’t fall for it, girl. This leads to codependency, which leads to self abandonment, which leads to judgment of the self, which leads to the judgment of others.
Keep self reflecting, keep investigating, and next time you want to call someone a bitch, I invite you to really take some time with the why.
Let's learn to love ourselves so we can love each other just as hard.
Everything we chatted about today is foundational to the things I teach in my course, MOVE GIRL! If you’re interested in hearing more, it’s coming back around in January 2021 so be sure to keep an eye out.
IN THE MEANTIME:
I have a maximum of 2 Spaces left for 1:1 Coaching! If you’d like some personalized space with me for growth, self-love, and all things that bring YOU into your fullest potential, send me a DM or an email and we’ll get you all set up.