How You Feed Yourself Shows A Lot About How You Feel About Yourself {Video}

How You Feed YourselfShows HowYou FeelAbout Yourself
We’re all trying to better ourselves.  We’re trying to improve our diets and exercise more and meditate and do all this amazing stuff.  The most important question that lies at the base of all of these changes is- why?

Why are you doing all of these things, what’s your true motivation?

Are you trying to change because society expects us to constantly be bettering ourselves or are you trying to change because there is something you don’t like about yourself?

These questions matter, because the intention we approach change with will determine our success, and also how we will feel once those changes are implemented.

I want to talk about this because I truly believe that change is only worth it if it comes from a place of self-love.  I noticed this especially when I was a personal trainer.  I had woman after woman coming to be to change because they hated something about their bodies.

I did my best to switch their focus to learning to love their bodies by being inspired by the amazing things their bodies could DO rather than BE.

I can relate to this personally through my own journey with food.  For years I didn’t feed myself well.  In fact I barely fed myself at all and that was because I didn’t consider it a priority.  Looking back I can see it was because I didn’t think I was deserving of nourishment and I just didn’t see myself as a priority.  At the time, I had terrible health; I was weak, too thin, plagued with aches and pains, suffered from terrible digestive health issues as well as acid reflux that I was on prescription acid blockers for.

All of this and I wasn’t even 20 years old.  I truly believed that my body was a dud, and that I was just going to have to live with a broken body for the rest of my life.

It wasn’t until I met my now husband, and really started treating myself with more respect that I began to see that with a little TLC from myself- everything could change.

I know that you want to be as healthy as you can be for your future babies.  I know that you’re doing it with such good intentions, but I really want to ask yourself- are you doing it out of self-love?

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What does your relationship with food have to tell you about the relationship you have with yourself? It’s my true belief that this relationship is the most direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves.  Are you depriving yourself of foods you love? Do you feel like a “clean-diet” is a punishment that you somehow “deserve”?

Getting to the bottom of these questions is getting to the root of your habits.  In western medicine, we like to do a lot of slapping bandaids on things and addressing things on a very surface level. That’s why we are in a constant state of management rather than ever finding true healing.

I recorded the video below to talk to you a bit more about my own experiences and get you thinking about your own motivations.

Watch now, then come to Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox and share with me an ah-ha moment you had surrounding food!

I am very big on getting to the root cause of our habits.  I always include this kind of work in my programs and I don’t ever just focus on the food!

If this speaks to you and you know you want to get moving on your journey towards a healthy, glowing pregnancy. I highly encourage you to book a complimentary 20 minute coaching call with me 🙂

All you have to do is click the button below and schedule in a time that’s most convenient for you!

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Tapping Into Femininity & The Path to Motherhood {Video}

Tapping into Femininity & The Path to Motherhood

Do you really know how to be feminine? 

I don’t ask you this as a challenge or an insult- I really want you to think about it. Do you know how to sink into your feminine and just radiate that energy?

This has been one of my biggest missions in life.  I have fought femininity for years, and I don’t mean heels and lipstick.  I mean I fought the idea of the feminine and feminine energy as a result.

I was confused. I thought feminine meant less respect; I thought it meant being dependant and weak.  I wanted to be in the boys club and I wanted to run shit. I wanted to get things done and be a boss. I was proud to have a tom-boy attitude.

It wasn’t until my husband told me that he was finding my energy unattractive that I really started to dig into it. It took me a long time.  At first I was really hurt and insulted- I thought it was an outward thing.  I thought I needed to be more “girly” in order to be more feminine- but I was TOTALLY missing the mark.

The world is over-run by the masculine right now.

It’s really unfortunate that the world isn’t sending love to the feminine because the world needs femininity so badly right now, it needs the healing powers of the feminine, and it needs the cool, soft, flowy, relaxed, taking care of, holding space energy SO SO badly!!!

Right now, the world is getting a lot of lovelier versions of men.

I am NOT saying that women shouldn’t hone their masculine energy and use it to their advantage (they totally should- I use mine everyday).  What I am saying is that understanding the role of each of your energies in your life is crucial.

Understanding how to receive, how to open and how to be still are all incredibly feminine qualities.

I’ve been on a personal quest to increase my YIN energy and its made my life so much better. If you constantly feel stressed and anxious- there is a good chance you need more time sinking into your feminine as well.

A lot of the reason I’ve wanted to dive into and talk about the feminine is because I never had a good role model for what femininity looked like.  My mom was, in many ways, very masculine as I was growing up and I feel like as a child and as an adult I yearn for that comfort.

I want to be able to offer that to my children the feminine that I never had- and that’s why I want to share a bit more with you about it. 

I also have created an 8 minute guided femininity relaxation for you as an action step to getting started on your feminine rediscovery 🙂 I’m really excited about it and I hope you LOVE IT! 

Click below to watch my latest video & make sure to grab your free Femininity Guided Relaxation for afterwards!!!

 

LADIES!!!!

I am just beyond happy to have the privilege to be in contact with you as often as I am and to be able to share my message with you.  I think it would be EVEN cooler, if I had the chance to get to know you on a deeper level.  I would really love it if you came to my private Facebook community: Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox.  In the group, we cover all things body, soul and mind to prepare for when its time!

Click here to join the group!

And if you didn’t already know, I offer FREE 20 minute preconception health coaching calls– we can get into depth about what your next step should be in preparing your best baby-making body!  I can help you cut the confusion and find confidence on your quest to better health before pregnancy.

All you have to do is click below and BOOM- you can book in a free call and I’ll be all yours for 20 minutes!

Lots of Love,

Milli Fox

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How I Cracked Open: Healing & Self-Love on the Path to Motherhood

How I Cracked Open

 

How I cracked open.

Oh that sounds so vague and ooey gooey. What does cracked open even mean?

I used to hear this language and think it was so inaccessible and too abstract. That’s because it was inaccessible to me at the time. I wasn’t there yet and I wasn’t ready.

I couldn’t crack open because I didn’t know exactly what it was that I was holding onto so tightly.

I’ve spoken before about My Story and how I spent so many years reading self-help books and getting nowhere. I’ve realized that it’s because I was only skimming the surface and I was spiritually bypassing all of my real raw human emotions.

I was running from them weekly by numbing myself with alcohol or a variety of other distractions and outlets.

I wasn’t able to crack into myself until I learned that none of the self-help books would help me and I really started paying attention to myself. I started to witness all of my emotions and acknowledge them.

 

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You might think you already do witness your emotions because you feel a lot of things. Maybe you feel a lot of anger or you feel anxiety or despair. But do you ever dig into those feelings or do you find yourself rushing through them and trying to sweep them away as quickly as you can? 

I know that’s what I did. I thought I could follow a list of neat and tidy principles and get past all the wounds that I’d been carrying with me.  But it’s just not a thing.

I’m not saying it’s necessary to sit in a chair and discuss every detail of your childhood- quite the opposite, in fact.

I’m talking about being in the present moment and paying attention to each emotion and allowing it’s full life span to play out inside of you. Let it wash over you and come to a peak and just breathe into it. Then ask yourself what the source of it was- but don’t stress too hard about finding it.

If you honour your emotions and use them as a guide book, you’ll find that they have a lot less power to take you and have their way with you. Give them the space they need and the attention they deserve and you’ll find you have a wonderful compass at your disposal any time you need it. 

I personally took a long time to get to this place. It was a combination of adding and subtracting many things from my life that allowed me to have the mental space required to witness my own thoughts. And to be honest, I still have moments where my emotions throw me around like a rag doll.

One of the most important things I did to get to a place of honouring my emotions was to stop drowning myself in booze. Now, you don’t necessarily have to be an alcoholic, or even use alcohol to be drowning your emotions.  There are plenty of ways you can numb yourself.  Look around and see what “substances” you might be using.

The next thing I did was I start meditating daily which wasn’t easy, but I started with 10 minutes a day with a guided meditation app called Headspace. I wrote another post about why you should at least give it a fair shot here.

I also started doing yoga. At first I did it because I just couldn’t handle the energy of the gym anymore, but once I realized the real purpose and the power of yoga I really began to feel it was perfect for me. I started to understand that emotion and trauma and tension are stored in our muscles and in our bodies. I also crave the YIN energy of the practice. I suppressed my femininity for so many years because I thought feminine equaled weak. That’s a whole other blog post though!

Now when I have feelings bubbling up in yoga when I’m in a challenging pose I can be thankful that they’re finding a way out of me. In the beginning of my practice I thought it was my frustration about the pose being difficult. However, once I learned the emotional power of yoga to connect to yourself- I embraced these waves. Now, I cry pretty much every yoga session because I’ve got a lot of stuff to release.

I actually cry a lot, pretty much everyday, for many different reasons. Sometimes it’s overwhelming sadness, but a lot of the time it’s relief, it’s thankfulness and it’s joy. I feel like crying right now because I’m so happy I can write a post like this and really truly mean it!

I follow a lot of self-help type gurus online and I’ve read a few posts from women who’ve said things like I just did. Talking about how they cracked open and now they’re so sensitive all the time and I would think to myself: Ugh why would you want to do that? Crying sucks and it’s so bad and embarrassing.

While it may be a bit embarrassing if you’re in public-who actually cares!!

You know how people say when you let your light shine you give people permission to do the same? Well when you honour your emotions and let them flow you also give other’s permission to do the same. And when you’re like me and you’ve held so much in for so long, you’re just so grateful to let it all go that the embarrassment doesn’t hold a candle to the relief you feel!

 

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I’m the type who’s always putting pressure on myself. Pressure to achieve, pressure to heal, pressure to do it faster.

So I can understand how it might not sound so appealing when I say that no one can tell you how to heal. I’m sure it would be easier with a proven system, but thats not how life works. No one can ever give you the exact list of tools you need to do what needs to be done. When you get to a place in your life where it’s no longer and option to stay where you are and you surrender, (as in you give up resistance and trying to control) you will find the tools and you will find the path. You just have to ask for it and keep your eyes open.

I’m so hell bent on my journey because I need to do this for my babies. I need to break a cycle of pain between mothers and daughters in my family. And I know I’m well on my way.

I’m healing on my path to motherhood and I know I’ll continue healing through the incredible emotions coming my way when I am a mother.

I’d love for you to come and join me and share part of your path in my private Facebook community: Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox

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Why You Should Heal Your Cycle Before You Get Pregnant {video with free download}

whyyoushouldhealyourperiod

 

Growing up my mom always told me that my period would get more difficult as I got older, because that was what she thought to be a normal part of aging as a female.  In my case, she was right.  For years I suffered from severely painful periods.  I had all the symptoms that you can think of: swollen painful breasts, bloating, nausea, intensely heavy flow, chocolate cravings, mood swings/intense emotion, loose bowels and cramps, oh the cramps!! My cramps would be so bad that for 1-2 nights of my cycle I would be rudely awoken by intense pain and I could do nothing to make myself feel better to fall back asleep.

It was at some point at 3 am, jumping back and forth between an epsom salts back and the toilet with a hot water bottle on my tummy that I decided this just couldn’t be normal.

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I took my menstrual health into my own  hands and went searching for a natural answer.  Since that time, I no longer suffer from debilitating periods.  Some are a bit worse than others, because I’m still on my journey, but they are 90% better than they’ve been in years and sometimes months go by with no symptoms at all!

A symptom-free cycle, is a healthy cycle and its one of the number one indicators that you will have a healthy pregnancy! If you think about it, your period is your body’s monthly way of preparing for a baby to make your womb its home.  If that process is not functioning properly, how can your body host a healthy pregnancy?

In this video, I’ll tell you a bit more about why that is:

Do you have painful periods? 

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If you do, come on over to my private Facebook community Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox and tell us what you’ve tried and found to be helpful to ease the discomfort.

Are you at the point where you are ready to spring into action and take real steps towards healing your cycle? Click below to Book a free 20 minute Clarity Call with me to start figuring out what the best steps to take will be!

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Lots of love & blessings,

Milli Fox

Nutritional Therapist & Preconception Health Coach

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Why I Want to be a Mom SO Badly

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I think a lot of little girls dream of growing up to me moms. I know not all of them do for sure, and that’s awesome too because everyone needs to do exactly what feels right for them.

I remember when I was little I didn’t care that much about barbies, I had my dolls. I had a full drawer dedicated to doll clothes and I loved my babies. I had a cat and he was also my baby. You better believe he was always dressed up in those doll clothes too.

And my favourite game? House.

Wow. You must be thinking, so stereotypical. So cliché. Haha. Me too!

Despite all of those super nurturing tendencies I had, I was also very much a rough and tumble tomboy type girl. I loved playing in the woods, getting dirty in the creek, catching frogs and bugs etc. I also owned a full train set and my own hot wheels too.

I would say that my parents were pretty good at letting me explore all ranges of “gendered” play. I got to make my own choices.

From a young age, it was very clear to me that I wanted to be a mom. I even remember telling my mom when I was a kid, when I’m a mom… blah blah blah.

When I got older, into my teenage years, I always pictured myself with kids. Its kind of weird actually, I always pictured myself as a single mom. Maybe that’s because I wasn’t sure of whom I would end up with, so I just didn’t include anyone in my fantasy future. I was actually not as set on the idea of marriage as I was on the certainty of being a mom.

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So maybe this is all very normal. Maybe there are a lot of girls who have mommy fantasies. But as my life has progressed, my yearning for motherhood deepened into something I didn’t really expect.

After my husband and I were married, we kept going back and forth between the number of years it would be until we would have kids. Baby fever would get really strong and then retreat for a bit. That was all good, cause it wasn’t quite the right time and I knew I wasn’t ready yet at 23.

When my sister-in-law started having babies, things started to get real. Especially when my second nephew, Mateo, was born last October. I understood what motherhood really looked like and what it meant to commit yourself fully to a new little human. I knew I was up for it.

However, I felt like I couldn’t become a mother until I healed my own wounds– many of which stem from the relationship I have with my own mother. It’s unfortunate because my mom also had a poor relationship with her own mother. The cycle is one that’s not easy to break, because when you don’t have a good model for a mother-daughter relationship, how do you navigate creating one with your own daughter?

You know how people feel they have to discover themselves and love themselves first before they can get into a relationship? That’s kind of how I felt about having a baby. There’s some self-work that I need to do first and I thought that was a really responsible belief to have.

I started working with a psychotherapist, addressing some of these really enmeshed beliefs I had about myself and about my mom. I started digging deep and doing some serious forgiveness work, and its been going really well. My husband has played a vital role in my healing, by showing my unwavering support and unconditional love in my healing journey. He’s helped be crack open and be able to access my true feelings.

The truth is I’m very lucky to be alive in this world where its easy to access these sorts of resources and to be able to go online and read blogs about The Mother Wound. Without these types of resources I can see how it would be incredibly difficult to figure out how to heal yourself. Especially since the stigma surrounding mental health has somewhat lifted since my own mother was my age.IMG_6684

I really felt like I had a lot of work to do and it was going to take me a long time to get to a healthy enough state of mind to have a baby and not feel it was a selfish choice. However, having children is in itself one of the most and the least selfish thing you can do at the same time.

Bringing another human into this wild world so you can love it and create a family is pretty much a choice you make solely for your own happiness, then again, you are committing to giving that child everything you possibly can of yourself for as long as they need it.IMG_6684

I felt pretty conflicted about this and about when the right time would be. My psychotherapist made a comment that I had really never considered before. I’m not even sure if I truly believed what she said at the time. She said Milli, I think a lot of healing will happen for you in the experience of being a mother yourself. BOOM.

Is that possible? Is that allowed? I’m gonna rely on a tiny little infant to help fix these deep seated issues I’ve been carrying with me since childhood?

It took me a while, but just last week I began to see how.

I was browsing this amazing Facebook group I’m a part of called Tribe de Mama and one of the ladies posted this absolutely beautiful and moving video of her, in a sports bra and boy shorts, 3 weeks post partum dancing with her little baby. Its actually making me tear up right now thinking about it. The happiness and peace on her face, the way she swayed and moved with such freedom. It was so incredibly powerful. In that moment, I saw it- that’s the power to heal, right there.

That connection, that building of a new bond and a new healthy relationship, one of complete and unconditional love, that is that kind of thing that can break you open and get to those super deep spots if you let it.

That’s the depth of emotion I think I’ve not only been so afraid to feel, but have been craving and yearning for.

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I am so unbelievably lucky to have been able to consider the emotional repercussions of my past on my becoming a mother. I am so lucky to have broken down so many of my walls so far, that I am learning to be vulnerable and that I am fully committed to always working on myself and always continuing on my healing journey.

I feel so blessed to have the moments in my life that I can be moved to tears by something so beautiful and that’s why I want to be a mom so badly. I know that me watching other women and their babies will invoke only a fraction of the emotion and love I’m going to feel when I hold my own baby in my arms for the first time.

I know I am going to be the one to break the cycle of painful parent-child relationships in my family, and for that, I want to be a mom so badly.

I know that I am going to feel fear, and worry and pain and grief like I’ve never felt before when it comes to the well-being of our baby. I want it, and I need to feel it all. That’s why I want to be a mom so badly.

My husband and I are so in sync in our beliefs and dreams for how we will parent our child and the immense love we will feel having created a family. Everything will become more meaningful, it won’t just be about us anymore and that’s why I want to be a mom so badly.

I am very well aware it wont be easy. I know it will be the biggest challenge of my life, and that’s okay. I’ve been through some painfully challenging periods in life, I’m talking heart wrenching, traumatizing periods that have made me who I am today. I wouldn’t trade any of those experiences now, because they’ve opened my eyes to what I really want out of this lifetime, and what really deserves my focus and that’s why I want to be a mom so badly.

I am utterly committed to the highs and lows to come. I will give it absolutely everything I have in me, because the feeling of parental love and support is something you might take for granted, but if its ever taken away or you feel like its not very strong, then you’ll understand.

If love is your foundation and there is always a deep love you can feel like a cushion beneath you for when you fall, then you can stay grounded in life much easier. You can feel worthy, and happy and hopeful. I’m lucky to have a husband who gives this to me, and a healing relationship with my mother.

I want to be that foundation for our babies, I want to help you build that foundation, mentally and physically, and that’s why I want to be a mom so badly.

If you feel very strongly about becoming a mom and you feel that you have some healing of your own to do before that time comes, then I warmly welcome you to join my Private Facebook Community, you can search for it on Facebook at Radiant & Ready with Milli Fox or CLICK HERE to head there now.

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