Deserve is a Dangerous Word

Milli Fox author, blogger and entrepreneur in Toronto, ONTARIO

Entitlement. It’s a big issue. I think it’s one of the biggest issues we’re facing at the moment. You can do anything, you can have it all, anything is possible- therefore you deserve it.

“Self love will strengthen your decision making when it comes to deciding who deserves your love.”


I read this quote and it stirred things in me. Hmmm yes- self love. That’s a big one. But I think a lot of us are confusing self-love (like the real deal) with ego and entitlement.

Doesn’t everyone deserve love? I don’t know do they? What if you’ve committed atrocities against those you claim to love over and over again? Does that person you claim to love owe you their love?

Then it makes me wonder, what is love? Really. Who defines what it looks like to love someone? Is it only in your heart? Is it an action that needs to be felt by the other person or can it simply be sent from a distance without overt communication?

Does a parent deserve a child’s love? Does a child deserve a parent’s?

I guess it can all be evaluated on a case by case basis.

Who really “deserves” anything?

I think the world is harsh but because we live in an instant gratification society we all feel that because something seems within reach that we automatically deserve it. Because do-you boo boo.

But I also believe in hard work and proving your character.

I truly believe you don’t owe anybody anything.

When it comes down to it. There is no “oweing” or “deserving”. There is only communication, setting realistic expectations and making sure to work towards all parties feeling heard, understood and seen.

I realize this is all pretty vague and maybe even jumps between ideas. But the main idea here is- I think we’re all living in a bit of an inflated world. propped up by crazy high moral standards.

Everyone wants to be a virtual crusader.

Sometimes the answers aren’t clear and I think it’s ok to accept that. Sometlmes broad statements just done work. Ok maybe a lot of the time.

I just always feel very wary when I hear the world “deserve”

Maybe worthiness is a better choice. We’re all definitely worthy of love.

What’s your take?

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